The insane intro to the 2006 remake of the James Bond classic, Casino Royale. Looking up this clip after the movie came out is how I learned what parkour was. Personally, this is probably my favorite chase scene in any movie ever. The scene I saw last night was pretty much the opposite of this scene.
As you all know, I'm homeless right now. Working making and selling art, I'm scraping by through this Covid-19 shutdown like everyone, but I just can't afford to pay rent for the time being. I sleep on a sidewalk in front of a retail location that seems to be permanently being remodeled. While there are a handful of working people, late night tweekers, and the occasional homeless zombies that wander by at night, people mostly leave me alone.
I was asleep last night, when I woke suddenly to the sound of heavy running footsteps. I leaned up on one elbow, and pushed back the top of my sleeping bag. A stocky guy in boots ran by me. I heard another set of footsteps coming towards me from up the street. I groggily realized that the stocky guy was being chased, but I wasn't sure why, or by whom. A security guard, a solid guy himself, but in much better shape, dressed in all black, ran by me. The stocky guy dove into the open side door of a minivan, parked 50 feet away. Well, "dove" isn't the right word. It's more liked he flopped headfirst onto the floor of the minivan, legs still outside the van. He screamed "Go! Go! Go!" to the driver.
The security guard stopped about ten feet past me, as the minivan started to take off. But the stocky guy was only half in, so as the van tried to roll away, his feet dragged on the ground, nearly pulling him out of the van, and he yelled something. It was like a comedy chase scene from a movie or something. The van was trying to take off, but the fat guy was being dragged along, halfway in, halfway out. Imagine Chris Farley doing a spoof of the Casino Royale scene above, it was something like that.
About that time, my head cleared enough to realize that the security guard was from the weed, excuse me, cannabis dispensary a couple buildings up, and the stocky guy trying to make a getaway was stealing weed, apparently. The security guard could have tackled the stocky guy, while he was hanging out of the van, and I think he would have won that scuffle. But he stopped. From his point of view, there could have been three people in the van, a gun, a knife, a pit bull, who knows. So he ultimately made the smart move. But hey, I was just a spectator, I wanted to see him go balls out and tackle the guy.
The minivan slammed on the brakes, the stocky guy got his arms and legs all going, like a baby sea turtle, swimming for the protection of the sea. He climbed further into the van, and it hit the gas and took off. Not a clean getawat at all, but a getaway none-the-less. I was laying there, propped up on my elbow, sort of laughing at the crazy scene, and the security guard turned and looked back at me. H didn't say anything, but it was like he was mad at me. I was thinking, "Hey, I'm not the one getting paid to protect the weed, man, that's your job." He walked back up to their door, and started talking to another worker.
I didn't even realize that place was a dispensary until recently, since it's mixed in with a bunch of entertainment industry businesses. I thought it was some kind of studio. People would work late, and occasionally cars would stop and go in. But this weekend, with the holiday after the Covid-19 shelter at home period, the place was cranking. It seemed everybody was needing some weed.
I've seen weird shit on the streets, but that was one of the funniest looking incidents. OK, who wants a Sharpie drawing? I really need to rent a room. Shit's weird outside at night.
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